Spidey is back! But in the latest installment of the Spiderman saga, Spiderman is emo. And a jerk. And that's before the jumpy ooze from outer space gets on his suit and turns it black, reminding me a lot of Superman 3. So here's how it goes: Peter Parker wants to ask MJ to marry him, but is so wrapped up in his spidey-fame that he doesn't even know that MJ just lost her singing job and has to turn tricks. Okay not really- she waits tables and sings in a bar. Bleck. Then there's Harry who is still pissed off that Spidey/PP killed his old man and turns into the new golbin. Then there's some b.s. about that guy that killed PP's uncle didn't really, that it was in fact this other guy that later becomes the Sandman. Yes, a very lame stretch. Then there's Topher Grace's character wanting PP's job at the Daily Bugle who later becomes some jaguar/spiderman combo. Then there's the jumpy ooze from outer space that makes Spidey have a bad case of PMS. There are a few more subplots, but I'm tired of even thinking about it. Just too many for an action-hero movie and none of them that I really cared about. And through it all, Peter Parker was completely unlikeable. Especially when he turned into Bright Eyes singer Conor Oberst. You'll see. So anyway, there are cool fight scenes here and there. And there's Topher Grace, who looks a lot like Toby Maguire. You know... except good looking. And there's a little cameo of Bruce Cambell that was funny, but all in all- to me, Spiderman 3 wasn't that good. I was ready for it to be over quite early on in the movie. The audience at the theatre I saw it in was pretty funny. They laughed at all these parts that were clearly meant not to be funny- like when PP was shaking from crying from something bad that happens. Funny crowd. Anyways, I'll give this one 2 out of 5 butters. One and a quarter for the cool fight scenes, and three quarters of a butter for Peter Parker slappin the shit out of MJ. Kidding. That's for BB from Kill Bill Vol. 2 who plays the Sandman's daughter in this movie. It just made me happy for a second to be reminded of a good movie while I was watching this mess.